Friends
by ikigai
Summary: "My name is Caitlin Snow and my special "friend" goes by the name of Barry… Barry Allen." It can be hard to get out of our comfort zone and open our minds... Or maybe we just need one special person to make it count. Set in highschool. Snowbarry. Flarrow and Caitlicity friendship.
1. Confessions

**AN:** Hi! This is my first fic ever and English is not my mother tongue, so I would like you to warn me about any mistakes or inconsistencies.

The story is set after the ending of a school year (the characters are teenagers)

Hope you enjoy your reading!

* * *

 _Ch 1: Confessions_

 _Part I_

 _Snow, Caitlin_

Have you ever had a... special... "friend"? I mean someone that you don't speak that much with, yet you both know you can trust and tell anything to each other. It's like you never needed to say it out loud or have a deep meaningful conversation about it. It was implicit; it always had been, although neither of the two realised exactly when it started.

So, this "friend", you like him and care about him so much that you don't want to lose him. He's one of those persons you just want to be around for a long, long time. It feels so comfortable to have him around, so… familiar. You can't help the smile on your faces every morning when you greet each other with a simple "good morning".

And then there are those days when you just feel this tension between the two of you, as if something is pulling you towards each other. It's almost magnetic. When you hug, when he touches your arm or your shoulder during a conversation… even if you're not alone, just having him by your side, without any physical touch… it's distracting, it speeds up your heart for no reason and you don't want it to end…

It's intoxicating. And somehow you know he feels it too.

It's confusing. Why does this happen?

And it comes back to "normal" the day after. The intense, overwhelming feeling, I mean. It keeps coming and going and always leaves you wondering if it was even there in the first place.

Do either of you speak about it? Nope. Not a single word. As if it's dangerous to talk about it because it might change it all. You feel like you can't live with it anymore, but you also can't live without it. And you say nothing. You do nothing. You're just too damn scared it might change. It feels wrong. HE feels wrong. Yet, it feels so right.

But he is just a friend. And you are just a friend to him. Because those daydreams won't come true unless you do something. And you don´t.

Anyways, I completely zoned out. My name is Caitlin Snow and my so called special "friend" goes by the name of Barry… Barry Allen.

* * *

 _Part II_

 _Allen, Barry_

 _My name is Barry Allen and she… Well, she's called Caitlin Snow._

Truth is it's not that simple. No one knows what's going through my mind. It's hard to explain and understand and it's better if it remains just a secret in my deep thoughts. And it's not like we can just run to each other's arms if we feel like it.

I have a girlfriend, Iris. This thing with Caitlin (if there is a thing), we have had it for so long, but with Iris, it was so clear from the start. I like her, I really do and she makes me so happy. And I know she loves me.

Caitlin has Ronnie. He's my friend, a great guy and loves her very much. They look so happy together. _So in love._

I would be lying if I said absolutely nothing ever happened between me and Caitlin. Well, it didn't… but it almost did.

Last fall (wow, almost a year ago), we felt particularly close. It looked like one of us was about to make the first move, to make a leap of faith. And then Ronnie happened. He was perfect for her, and eventually she ended up falling for him. It's not like I blame her or anything. They were perfect for each other. And nothing had happened between us.

And then I met Iris. We got along really well from the beginning and things just happened. Everything seemed so perfect back then, but after all this time, more and more I realize: hell, it never felt like it did with Caitlin. We are so good, but I can't shake the thought that I would be better with her.

I'm kind of in a "what if" situation right now.

"What if I had made the move?"

" _What if it was Caitlin?"_

And now it's too late. I can't do anything. I would screw up both relationships. Too many heartbreaks. No, I can't do anything.

And then again, it's Caitlin. She's my friend. Just a friend.

What the hell am I thinking?

* * *

 **AN:** This is kind of an introduction to what's going through their minds.

Thank you for reading and let me know what you think and if I should continue!

If you have any question or suggestion, please say so, I'm all ears ;)


	2. Girl's Talk

**AN:** Thanks for the reviews! I was really happy to read them :)

I would like to warn you that my idea is to make the first part of the story more focused on their current relationships and how they develop, so don't expect lots of Snowbarry moments for now. But you'll get them if you're patient enough ;)

Hope you enjoy your reading!

* * *

 _Ch2: Girl's Talk_

"Good morning, Cait!"

Hearing her name being called, Caitlin was forced to wake up from her trance. She had been sitting in a bench in the park in the last 20 minutes, waiting for her friend, Felicity. They had planned a girl's day, just for the two of them, since school had ended last week and they really wanted to relax and catch up on everything that had happened in the last weeks of rush, stress, projects and finals.

"Hey" she greeted, smiling at the excited girl, now sitting at her side.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting. It feels good to wake up late. So, I know we didn't have much time to talk lately, and I want to know how everything's going."

"And so do I. How is Oliver?"

Felicity and Oliver were like the perfect couple. It almost seemed like love at first sight (although Caitlin doesn't believe that kind of thing). They had started exchanging glances in classes and hallways, notes in lockers, even had one of those scenes where one runs into the other, who drops all his/her books. You know, very much movie like.

"Oh, the usual. He's taking me to the beach next weekend."

Caitlin couldn't help but laugh at her friends grin and completely-in-love face. She could almost see hearts in her eyes.

"You guys are adorable." She said, truly happy for them.

"Aw, thank you Cait! But hey, I want to know how everything's going with you, girl."

Although the blonde didn't specifically refer anything, Caitlin knew exactly what she expected her to talk about.

"And by everything you mean Ronnie?"

"Well, yes. You told me you guys were having some problems… Is everything okay?" Felicity answered with a more serious face.

 _Okay, here we go. You knew she was going to ask it._

"To be honest, no, things are not okay. It's quite bad, actually. We're always fighting… for nothing. He seems to be silently accusing me of something all the time."

"Accusing you?"

She stared at the floor, taking a deep breath before formulating an answer.

"Yes. For example, if I take too long to answer to his texts, he'll insinuate I'm doing something that's more important to me that him, or that I'm texting someone more important… And he keeps saying that if I'm not happy with him, maybe I should just move on with my life. All of this makes me feel bad, you know? It's really starting to affect me, it's shutting me down. I don't feel comfortable talking to him anymore. He thinks I don't feel the same thing for him anymore, and I can't find a way to show him otherwise. And when I try to find out, he acts like it should be freaking obvious!"

Felicity could see the sadness on her friends face. She had never been the kind of person to openly talk about feelings and all that stuff. Hell, the girl didn't even know how to express her feelings most of the time. And that was if she actually knew what feelings she had to express. Anyways, Felicity knew this was a difficult topic for her friend and was determined to help her through anything she needed.

"You think this is like when he had that crisis with you and Barry when you started dating? I mean, he went all jealous…"

 _Oh great, Barry… that was just what I needed right now._

"This is worse, Felicity, a lot worse. I don't know if we're gonna make it through."

"Cait… I know this is really hard for you and I know you're not the romantic drama kind of person, so, can I be honest with you?"

"Yes, please."

"Listen, we have been friends for a long time now and although you're not the sharing type of person, I kind of got to know you pretty well. I saw how you and Ronnie were happy when you started dating and for the first months… You had a flame but I think you burned out. You are both great persons but you're not happy together. You don't even act like yourselves anymore. Please, tell me if I'm wrong."

Caitlin wished she could deny everything Felicity had just told her but she couldn't. Deep inside she had already realised it herself and refused to accept it, but her friend was right. She knew she was right.

"No, you're not wrong. What do I do Felicity? What am I supposed to do? I don't know how to deal with this."

"I think you should have a serious conversation with Ronnie. Yell, scream, I don't know, but either you find a way of getting through your problems or… you know. I hate to see you like that and this is no way to live."

Caitlin was now staring at a little kid chasing a small dog across the park. She was trying to hold the tears forming in her eyes. She knows she need to speak with Ronnie but she honestly doesn't know how to. She never expected to be caught in this kind of drama, and she certainly never wished for it.

 _Breathe._

She hated to cry in front of other people, even Felicity. It made her feel so weak.

 _Calm down._

She closed her eyes slowly, managing not to let out a single tear.

"Thank you, Felicity."

"For what? We both know I didn't really tell you anything new."

"I needed to hear someone else say it. And thanks for listening." She looked up with a weak but sincere smile.

"Always, dummy"

With a grin, Felicity opened her arms widely, inviting her friend to a hug. The brunette smiled a little more openly, allowing her friend to hold her for a few moments.

"Humm Caitlin? There's actually something else I have been meaning to talk to you about, but after this conversation, I don't think it is the right time."

Caitlin stared at her with a confused look.

"I'm fine, you can say anything" she assured.

"It's not that… This is not really the right time. And now that I think of it, it depends on how things turn out with Ronnie if we talk about this or not. I shouldn't have said anything."

 _What?_

"Well, now you have. You know curiosity kills me, so stop being mysterious!"

"I'm sorry, I won't tell you anything. It's better if I don't."

"Can I at least know what is it about?"

"It's about Barry… But it doesn't matter right now."

 _Barry? No, I really can't think about Barry right now. Why is she bringing him up? Is it possible that she noticed something? No, no, okay, calm down. You're overthinking. It's all in your head, anyways._

"Uh, Barry? Is everything okay with him?"

"Yes, yes, don't worry. Just ignore what I said. We'll talk about it later."

 _It doesn't matter. You have bigger worries for now._

"Okay, okay. You get away for now. But I'm not forgetting that conversation."

"I don't doubt it." Said Felicity, giving her a compromising smile.

After a moment of silence the blonde stood up, turned to her friend and announced:

"It's time for ice cream. And then we're going shopping. What do you say?"

"Sounds like a good plan"

"You're forgetting about all of your problems for today."

* * *

 **AN:** I liked to picture Felicity as an "emotional consultant" and that's kind of what I tried to do here.

Any question, suggestion, let me know! Also, warn me of any mistakes, please.

Thank you for reading, I'll try to update soon!


	3. Old Times

**AN:** Thank you so much for the reviews! I think I'll try to update every 3 or 4 days (if I manage to write a decent chapter, of course).

In response to Rachel, I agree! I think it would be fun to see Felicity and Caitlin developing a friendship on the show.

Anyways, enjoy your reading! I hope you like it :)

* * *

 _Ch 3: Old Times_

Barry came out of the shower with a towel around his waist and sat down in front of his locker, feeling tired from his swimming practice.

 _God, I'm hungry._

He picked up his phone and noticed there was a new text.

 _Felicity: Hey Barry! Are you doing something today?_

They had known each other for a long time, longer before any of them had met Caitlin. It was usual for them to text each other and hang out every now and then.

 _Barry: Not really. Want to meet somewhere?_

He put down his phone and started rubbing his hair with another towel and getting dressed. A reply came a few minutes later.

 _Felicity: That's exactly what I was about to ask! Park in 10?_

 _Barry: Make it 20. Just got out of practice and need to head home before meeting you._

 _Felicity: Alright, see you there_

*30 minutes later*

Hearing the footsteps of someone approaching her, Felicity looked up.

"You're late, speedster."

"Wouldn't be me if I wasn't." he replied with a half smirk.

"Yes, you wouldn't." she confirmed with a smile. "Wanna grab something to eat?"

"Please, I'm starving."

They walked to the usual café down the street, chatting their way there. The place was almost empty and they didn't have to wait long for their orders.

"So, did you want to meet for anything in particular?"

"Humm, not really. I haven't seen you almost since school ended. How's everything?"

"Great, actually. I got a part time job as a lifeguard at the beach. I'm starting next week."

"That' great! I've been looking for something too, but I got nothing."

Suddenly, Felicity opened her eyes widely in excitement as something popped up in her head, causing Barry to shoot her an inquisitive look.

"Listen, while I was waiting for you, I started wondering when was the last time we had the gang all hanging out together."

"The gang?" Barry asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah. I mean the two of us, Caitlin and Cisco"

"I have no idea. I guess it has been a while since that happened."

"You know what? Are you free tomorrow night?"

"I am. Movie night?"

"Movie night! At my place! Just like the old times!"

Felicity's excitement was contagious and Barry felt really happy with her idea. It does have been a long time since they have planned anything and he misses those encounters and the stuff they used to do all together.

"Wow, I miss movie nights. Especially horror movie ones."

The blonde laughed at his comment, remembering how those nights usually went.

"Caitlin was always so excited to see a horror movie, but that was before we actually watch it. She would always end up the night wrapped up in you and almost scared to death."

With those words, Barry forced a small laugh, staring down at his hands around the cup of coffee.

 _I do miss movie nights with Caitlin._

He was always the one who managed to calm her down during and after horror movies, which usually scarred her to the point she wasn't able to sleep. He would hug her tight and let her bury her face in his chest every time the brunette was too startled to look at the screen. And after that, he would text her or call her so she could feel safe enough to sleep.

Felicity noticed the sudden change in Barry's mood when she mentioned Caitlin, but decided not to bring that up right now, just like she did with the girl a couple days before.

 _Maybe you should think before you speak, Felicity._ She thought.

"Are you inviting Iris?" she asked, dragging him back from his thoughts.

"Humm, no. She's out of town… But you should bring Oliver. You think Caitlin will invite Ronnie?"

"Uh, I don't know… They… uh…"

"I noticed there was something up with them… She must have talked to you. Not that I want you to tell me, it's just… Is she okay?"

"She did talk to me and yes something's up. I know you mean well, but it's not my life to tell. You know Caitlin, she's strong, she will get through it. She will be alright."

Barry was a little more relieved that she had talked to Felicity. He knew she found it much easier to keep everything to herself and that would end up hurting her even more.

 _She will be okay._

Felicity got up from her seat picking up her purse.

"So, I will talk to them or something and then I'll text you the details tonight. I should get back home; I'm the one making dinner tonight."

"Yeah, I should probably go too. Thanks for the talk."

"Of course, Barry, anytime."

She gave him a goodbye hug and headed out of the café, leaving Barry with a million thoughts running through his mind.

*A few hours later*

 _Felicity: Movie night tomorrow at my place. Cisco is bringing popcorn and the movie, Oliver is bringing dessert and Caitlin is coming earlier to my place so we can make lasagne for dinner. Could you bring some drinks?_

 _Barry: Sure! Sounds good ;)_

After a few moments, he couldn't resist and decided to send another text.

 _Barry: So, Ronnie's not going?_

He waited impatiently for her reply, lying in his bed and staring at his own cell phone with an expectant look on his face.

 _Felicity: No, he's not going. We'll talk tomorrow, okay? Bye, Barry._

 _Barry: Okay, see ya tomorrow._

* * *

 **AN:** Thank you for reading!

I guess I'm not very descriptive, which makes chapters kind of shorter.

Any mistake, suggestion, question or thought, let me know ;)


	4. Caitlin's Day

**AN:** I'm sorry I wasn't able to update within the time I said i would. I've been busy in the last few days and this chapter took me longer than I expected because I kept writing and erasing it.

Again, thank you very much for the reviews, I'm always happy to read them :)

So, here's the next chapter (not movie night yet). Enjoy your reading. I hope you like it!

* * *

 _Ch4: Caitlin's Day_

*morning after Barry and Felicity met in the café*

Caitlin rolled up in bed when the first sun rays came through the window. She had been awake all night, anxious about the talk she and Ronnie were about to have.

 _No…_

Her boyfriend had agreed to have a serious talk about their relationship that day. That morning. And she didn't feel ready to have this conversation. Not at all.

She looked at her clock.

 _6:18_

The brunette decided to get up and take a shower. It wasn't like she was going to fall asleep now. She went full autopilot mode and only became aware of herself again after getting dressed and having breakfast.

She looked at the clock again.

 _6:55_

She decided to go for a walk to try to clear her head.

…

Caitlin sat in the sand, her gaze fixed on the blurry line that separated the sky from sea, her arms around her legs and her chin resting on her knees. It was slightly chilly, yet the breeze felt comfortably warm in her pale skin and she allowed herself to relax. Her line of thought drifted from Ronnie to the conversation with Felicity, to the movie night, to Barry. The brunette closed her eyes and smiled when the memories of so many moments she had spent with that little family… and with Barry. He had always managed to make her feel safe.

 _If only he was here._

She shook her head. She couldn't let herself think of him too much.

 _Oh Caitlin, what have you gotten yourself into?_

She stood up; it was time for her to go.

…

*Later; in the afternoon*

Caitlin was lying in her bed waiting for Felicity's call. She felt relieved, as if she could finally breathe after many months holding it. Besides that, she couldn't manage to define exactly how she felt.

 _I should feel like something._

Maybe she should run and jump around in happiness, or maybe she should crawl in bed, grab a pillow and cry. But she didn't feel like any of those two options. It was like she couldn't feel anything.

Her phone started ringing, causing her to almost jump out of bed. She picked it up and looked at the screen; it was Felicity.

"Cait, I'm almost home, you can come now. My parents are out and only return tomorrow, so we are on our own." Her voice sounded excited even through the phone and Caitlin used her friend's excitement to find the strength she needed to form a small smile and seem convincingly happy on the other side of the line.

"Okay, I'm on my way."

"Hey, have you already spoken to Ronnie?"

"Uh… no. No, I haven't." she lied.

"Humm, alright then. See you in a bit."

"See ya."

They hung up and Caitlin grabbed her things and headed to the door.

 _I'll forget about this for today. I'm going to be with my friends and we will have a great time tonight. Today I'll be happy. Tomorrow I'll handle this._

She looked up, smiled, and stepped outside her house.

...

The brunette slowly made her way to her friend's house, taking her time to clear her mind and momentarily forget about the conversation she had that morning.

 _I'll be okay. I'll be fine._

She knocked at the door and heard Felicity shout:

"BACK DOOR IS OPEN!"

Caitlin giggled at her friend's response and walked around the house, entering through the back door, which led to the kitchen.

"Hey hey" she greeted with a smile.

"Hey girl! I've got everything we need here. Shall we get to work?"

"Let's begin."

…

Caitlin has having a good time with her friend. They had been chatting and laughing while cooking and she was thankful that the blonde had decided not to bring Ronnie and the talk into their conversation. Unexpectedly, they heard a knock on the door.

"Is someone else supposed to come earlier?"

"I don't think so. Be back in a minute."

Felicity disappeared through the door to check who was outside. Caitlin was washing her hands when she recognised the voice talking to Felicity: Barry. Her thoughts flew immediately back to the conversation she had with Ronnie and her heart rate rose. She shook her head and tried to calm herself down.

 _Not now. Not tonight. It's just Barry. You knew he would come. You'll be okay._

"Just" Barry.

Taking a deep breath, she joined her friends on the living room.

"Hey, Caitlin!" He smiled widely at her.

 _That smile…_

"Hey, Barry." she smiled back and he gave her a hug. Although it was a quick hug, that familiarity made her calm down a bit more.

"I was just telling Felicity that I decided to come earlier and give you girls a hand."

"You're saying that you actually showed up to work?" Caitlin teased with a half smirk.

"There's a first time for everything." Barry answered and winked at her.

Felicity chuckled watching her two friends teasing each other, just like they used to…

"… _and just like they will continue to."_

"Well, I'm going to check the kitchen, and you two can set the table." the Blonde suggested, intentionally planning to leave the two alone.

"Good. Let's do that." Barry said, handing her a bag with the drinks he said he would bring.

Felicity returned to the kitchen and they began to set the table. While they did so and made small talk, Barry discreetly studied Caitlin. He was trying to understand how she was doing through her expressions and the looks she gave him. She looked fine, but he could sense something was off. He decided not to say anything then. He would talk to her later.

With Barry there with her, Caitlin's mind was racing and she could only think about something Ronnie had said to her that morning. Something she was having a hard time realizing and accepting. Something she could not deny, but much less admit:

" _You never loved me. At least not as much as you love Barry."_

* * *

 **AN:** Thank you for reading!

I will be out of town for the rest of the month and I think I won't be able to update... So, don't expect a new chapter before 8/31 or 9/1.

As always, feedback is appreciated, let me know what you think ;)


	5. Movie Night

**AN:** I'm reeeeaaaaly sorry for making you wait half a month for another chapter. To compensate, this one ia a little longer ;)

Seriously, thank you so much for the reviews, favs and follows, you are amazing!

Now, I know some of you have been waiting for movie night, so here it is! I hope you like it :)

* * *

 _Ch5: Movie Night_

The sun was starting to hide behind the horizon when Cisco arrived at Felicity's house. Oliver was already there and the four had been playing card games while waiting for their friend.

By then, Barry couldn't help but think that Caitlin was avoiding him, keeping her distance from him, dodging every possibility of physical contact, and responding with short and evasive answers.

 _Have I done something wrong? Maybe she's mad at me._

He couldn't remember anything he had done that would possibly cause the brunette to act like this. Even Felicity was aware of what her friend was doing and of the tension which had settled between the two. She was sure Caitlin was hiding something from her.

Meanwhile, there was a major mess in Caitlin's mind: She was feeling trapped by her own feelings and thoughts. Ronnie's words couldn't be true, it would hurt too much if they were. She would feel like she had been fooling him since the beginning of their relationship. That just wasn't her. It was against everything she stands for, her morals. She never meant to make anyone suffer.

 _How did I get to this?_

Her plan of shutting down her feelings for the night had completely fallen apart the moment she found herself alone in the same room as Barry. Every time her eyes met his green ones, every time he gave her that smile that always made her smile too, the way those things made her feel, the way _he_ made her feel… It all felt wrong.

 _But it felt so right._

Either way, Caitlin felt guilty. Maybe the best thing to do was to limit her interactions with Barry to the minimum. That should help her hiding what was on her mind… right?

Well, no, not really.

…

She looked up from her plate. Sitting on the other side of the table where they were now having dinner, Barry was staring at her with an inquisitive look. And then, everyone turned their heads to look at her.

 _Crap, did he spoke to me?_

"I'm sorry, did you say anything?"

"Yeah, I asked if everything was okay… you've been staring at your plate for quite a while now." He answered with a soft smile.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. I just… zoned out."

"Okay."

"Okay"

Everyone continued eating and chatting. Caitlin looked at Felicity, who raised an eyebrow and gave her a wtf face, which she ignored. The blonde then turned her head to Barry who shrugged his shoulders and silently mouthed the words "I have no idea."

 _Seriously, what the hell do I do with these two?_

After a few funny stories and bad jokes, Cisco announced:

"You know what? Some night we should do karaoke."

"That would be a disaster." Felicity replied.

"Oh come on it would be fun! I'd like to show of one of the few skills I am proud of having!" Cisco said in a dramatic tone, putting his hand on his chest, which caused a general laugh.

"Well, I can't really sing. And I bet Caitlin is out too."

"Yeah, I'm completely tone-deaf. Singing is one thing you are never going to see me doing." She said shaking her head.

"You girls are killjoys. If we do it, I'm in." Oliver said. "What do you say, Barry?"

"I don't know… Only if everyone agrees."

"Oh shut up, you're a great singer." Felicity stated.

"You guys are destroying my dreams. This may be a no for now, but I won't forget it." Cisco said with a sad face, crossing his arms. "Let's get to the movie, please."

"Wait, wait, wait. First you're all going to help me cleaning this up." The blonde got up and gestured with her head towards the kitchen.

"Yes ma'am." Oliver said with the most serious face he could make. "Boys, to the kitchen!"

"Yes sir!" Barry and Cisco replied in unison. Then, the three of them marched to the kitchen with their dishes.

"Seriously?" Felicity asked, turning to Caitlin, who shook her head and laughed.

…

After doing the dishes and cleaning the table and the kitchen, the group headed to the living room. Before she could leave the kitchen, Caitlin felt a hand in her shoulder and turned around to meet Barry's green eyes.

"Hey… uh… is everything okay between us? You've been acting kind of strange all evening… I hope you're not mad at me." He said, scratching the back of his neck with a concerned look on his face.

His question surprised her and only then she realized that she must had been giving him the wrong impression throughout the evening.

 _I'm acting all weird on him and still he is the one worried about having done something wrong._

"Mad? No, no, I'm not mad. Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know… I do stupid stuff sometimes." In that moment she was unable to avoid the smile that appeared on her face watching Barry's nervous one. "So is there anything wrong?"

"Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I have a lot of things in my mind right now."

 _It must have something to do with Ronnie. It's probably better that I don't insist._

"Oh… You know you can tell me anything if you need, right?"

"Yes, I do." She said with an honest smile. "Thanks Barry."

"No problem."

And then he hugged her.

It wasn't that extraordinary, they had done it a million times, but it felt like it was everything she needed after that day. So, she hugged him back, squeezing him tight. He didn't do anything special, yet she felt like some of the weight on her shoulders had vanished. The thoughts which had been tormenting her, were now gone, although she knew it was only temporary.

"C'mon, let's go join them."

The two joined their friends in the living room, receiving one more questioning look from Felicity, who was snuggled in the couch with Oliver. They had already switched off the lights and everything was set. Cisco, who was sitting on the floor holding a bowl of popcorn, pressed play, and Barry went to sit on a large beanbag. Caitlin was about to sit on the floor too when Barry grabbed her hand. She looked at their hands, then at him.

"Come here, the beanbag is large enough for the both of us." He whispered. She remained silent and after a few seconds she heard his voice again, even lower.

"Just like we used to."

The brunette sat down next to him and fixed her eyes on his.

"Things are not as they used to."

"No, they are not. But we can pretend for just one night." He replied, putting his arm around her shoulders. They were so close she could feel the heat his body irradiated. So close that she could feel his scent. Caitlin felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest and run out of the room.

"Hey, whatever it is you're thinking, leave it for tomorrow. Now you're here with your friends. With me. Forget all of your problems. Okay?" Barry whispered, feeling her body's tension.

"Is it okay for us to do this? I mean you have a girlfriend and I-"

"Caitlin, we´re not doing anything. I'm just trying to help my friend feeling better with whatever's going on with her. Don't you trust me?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then" he held her hand "don´t worry."

Slowly, she felt the tension leave her body and allowed herself to relax against him. She didn't know how it was that he started having this effect on her, but he did have his way of calming her down.

…

The rest of the night was far less stressing for Caitlin. At some point during one of the movies, her head had come to rest on Barry's shoulder and his fingers started running through her hair. When the time came to leave, he insisted on walking her home once it was late, and the two chatted happily down the street.

Barry was wishing for the night not to end. He was so happy that he was able to make her smile even if there were problems bothering her.

 _God, how I missed her._

He knew what those problems were, at least some of them, and he wanted to tell her, to remind her that he would support her through whatever she needed. So, suddenly, he stopped, gently grabbing her arm to make her stand in front of him.

"Barry, is everything okay?"

The way she said his name, her voice so soft, sent shivers down his spine.

"Yes. Yes, it is." he said, looking at the floor. He looked up again, meeting her gaze.

"Listen, I know this must be the last thing you wanted me to mention right now but… I know you and Ronnie… you know… Are having some problems and… You know that I'm here if you need me. Or even if you don't, I'll always be here."

Her smile died on her face and she looked away from him.

"Bar-"

"Caitlin, I'm serious." Barry interrupted her. "I care about you. I don't know what I would do if he ever hurt you, if anyone ever hurt you. I'm not asking you anything, I just wanted you to know this."

"Barry, we broke up."

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 **AN:** And there you have movie night (although the night has not ended yet)! I wasn't sure if the chapter would meet the expectations, so let me know how I did :)

Another thing, this chapter and half of the previous one happened after Caitlin and Ronnie's talk (captain obvious, I know) but I do plan on writing it.

Anyways, thank you for reading, I'll try to update as soon as I can!


	6. The Talk

**AN:** So much for fast updating... I do realise it has been almost an year and I don't even have an excuse for it. Anyways, I tried to pick up the train of thought I was following and wrote you this chapter which jumps back in time a little bit (I said I would write the talk between Caitlin and Ronnie). So here you have, a new chapter about ten months after. Hope you enjoy it :)

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 _Ch6: The Talk_

" _Barry, we broke up."_

 _..._

*Earlier that day*

Caitlin walked back from the beach towards the park where she would meet Ronnie. Arriving at the place, she sat on a swing on the playground and waited for the boy.

 _Boy._

Yeah, they were still kids, basically. Visibly calmer now, she wondered how silly this whole teen drama would seem in a few years.

"Good morning, Caitlin"

His voice pulled her out of her trance. She seemed to be zoning out a lot lately.

"Ronnie."

It was it. It was now. Ronnie sat on the swing beside her and looked at his hands nervously.

"Did you get much sleep tonight?" he asked without looking at her.

"No. Not really."

"Yeah, neither did I. Listen, I don't want us to be mad at each other or to fight, so… just let me say what I have to say without interruptions, okay?"

"Okay. I'm listening."

"Alright, we've been together for some time now and I think we know each other pretty well. Right?" he lifted his head and looked at her with a small smile.

"Yes, we do." She say, mimicking his smile.

"So, nothing of what I'm about to say means that what I think of you has changed, do you understand?"

"Yes, just go ahead." He was starting to make her feel anxious.

"Well, I've always saw you as a sweet and pure person, incapable of purposefully hurting anyone. The truth is that, when we met, I could see there was something between you and Barry."

 _And here we go._

"But seeing that you were into me, I thought that with time, I could erase whatever existed between you two. But I didn't, and it's still there and I can't ignore it anymore." His expression hardened with every word that came out of his mouth.

"Ronnie…"

"Caitlin, let me finish." He interrupted, maybe a little too harshly, before she could say anything.

She nodded and lowered her head, waiting for him to continue.

"I've come to realise that I can't compete with him, and honestly I'm not even sure if I want to anymore. When I look back at us, I see that we were happy, but our feelings weren't quite in the same level. You never loved me the way I wanted you to, or at least not as much as you loved Barry, and when we started dating, you left your feelings unresolved. As much as I like you, I can't stand being with you when you'd rather be with him, Caitlin."

She stared at the ground below her feet as his words sank in and took all her strength away. She let a couple tears fall carelessly from her deep brown eyes.

"I never lied to you, Ronnie. When I was with you, I was with you, not thinking about him. When I kissed you, I was kissing you, not thinking about kissing him. It was all real."

"I don't doubt it. Caitlin, look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm wrong, tell me that you still love me and that I'm making this up. Please."

She looked at him and saw his pleading look, but couldn't manage to do as he asked. She was done fighting, done wondering if things could have worked differently, done trying. So, the brunette decided that, in that moment, she would give up of her relationship with Ronnie and give in to her deepest thoughts, letting them wander through her mind.

 _Maybe he is right, maybe I screw it up. There is no point in continuing this anymore._

And like that, she answered: "I can't."

Ronnie rubbed his face with his hands and looked away. She continued: "I'm tired, you know? I don't know if everything you said is correct, I have no idea of where whatever this thing I have with Barry stands, and honestly I am not concerned about it right now. I'm just tired. And I can't deny any of what you just told me."

She looked down again before finishing: "I'm sorry."

He chuckled, a strangled laugh filled with sadness.

"Don't be. It's not like you can control it. I don't regret any of the time I've been with you."

"Neither do I. Thank you, Ronnie."

"Don't thank me, just do me a favour: don't let you feelings hanging. And this serves for the rest of your life. I know your intentions aren't bad, but you will end up hurting yourself, and possibly others. Do you understand what I'm saying?" he asked softly.

"Yes, I do."

"I'd love to say that we can still be friends and that you can talk to me whenever you want to, but it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me I kind of need some space right now. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, I understand. Thank you for the talk, Ronnie."

He got up from his seat on the swing and turned to her, kissing the top of her head.

"Good bye, Caitlin. See you aroud."

"Good bye."

And then he turned and walked away.

The sun was higher up in the sky now, and a few people wandered around the park. As group of kids approached the playground, Caitlin got up and started walking slowly back home, taking her time to think.

…

"Good morning sweetie. You woke up early today." Her mom greeted as she entered the house, throwing her a questioning look as if wondering where she had been.

"Good morning. Yeah, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk. I didn't want to wake anyone up."

"Is there something bothering you?"

Caitlin and her mother never had the kind of bond where she would feel at ease to talk to her about feelings or personal issues, which she kind of regretted, but didn't know what to do about.

"No… no, everything's fine."

"Alright, tell me if you need anything. Oh, a letter has arrived for you. I think it's about that summer internship at STAR labs."

"Thanks mom. I'll be up in my room. I'll come down when it's time to make lunch to help you cook."

"Thanks sweetie."

With that, Caitlin picked up the letter and went upstairs to her room. With all the recent stress, she had almost forgotten about the internship. However, she didn't open the letter. Instead, she threw it on her desk.

 _Tomorrow I'll take care of that._

She sat on her bed and looked through the window.

 _Tomorrow I'll take care of a lot of things._

* * *

 **AN:** As always, thanks you for the reviews and the support! Let me know if you're still interested in this story or if I should just let it go. Thank you for reading :)


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